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Getting Married After 50? Here’s How to Merge Your Financial Lives

Couples who say “I do” in their later years face a unique set of challenges


spinner image A newly wed couple
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Saying “I do” in your 50s, 60s or beyond isn’t as rare as you might think.

The number of U.S. adults who got married for the first time between the ages of 50 and 59 has seen a sizable increase since 1990, according to a recent study by Bowling Green State University’s Center for Family and Demographic Research. For 50-to-59-year-old women the rate more than doubled, and men between the ages of 50 to 59 weren’t far behind.

Couples tying the knot after 50 will have to think through different financial considerations than younger generations, says Cassandra Rupp, a financial planner at Vanguard. Older adults have likely amassed their own wealth, which raises the question of whether to blend assets with their new spouse or keep things separate.

Also, at this stage of life one spouse might be thinking about retirement or has already retired, while the other might want to keep working. One person may place a high priority on saving, while the other places a greater emphasis around spending on life experiences like traveling the world. One or both partners might be entering the marriage with financial baggage, such as high credit card debt or a low credit score. There could also be adult children from a prior marriage that need to be added into the equation.

For older couples preparing to walk down the aisle, here’s a road map on how to merge two complex financial lives into one.

Be transparent

Not everyone is wired the same way when it comes to money. Some people are spenders; some people are savers. And by the time people reach their 50s, their money personality — characterized by their financial behaviors and values — is well established.

“One of the biggest differences between 20-somethings and 50-somethings is people in their 20s are still sort of forming their own identity and financial habits and are more open to change,” says Sandra McPeak, senior financial advisor at Wells Fargo Advisors. “By the time you’re in your 50s you’re pretty much who you are financially, so it’s more complicated.”

Sit down with your soon-to-be spouse and lay all your financial cards on the table, says Joe Goldgrab, a wealth management advisor at TIAA. Discuss your income, your spending and saving habits, and your short- and long-term financial goals, such as what age you both wish to retire.

Some financial advisors go as far as recommending that couples review each other’s credit reports to get a clear picture of their financial history. While McPeak hasn’t recommended this type of credit review to clients, she says it could be a useful exercise for couples willing to do it.

Discuss which accounts you’ll be combining

One of the key questions that 50-plus newlyweds need to answer is whether they’re going to combine finances into one shared pot, keep them separate or create a hybrid system in which some assets are held jointly and some remain separate.

During his career, Goldgrab has handled this question a number of different ways. Some couples, he says, agree to pool their income for regular expenses, such as their monthly mortgage and credit card bills, but keep preexisting assets, like stocks and bonds, apart.

McPeak says that kind of arrangement works well for many couples. Her reasoning has a lot to do with human nature and how money is often a source of friction between couples. “So, the idea here is, you keep your account and I keep my account that we had coming into the marriage, and then we have a joint account to cover shared expenses,” she says.

When it comes to estate planning and passing on wealth to heirs, such as kids from a prior marriage, it could make sense to keep certain assets separate, says Vanguard’s Rupp. No matter which way you go, consider working with an estate attorney to make sure the assets you’ve worked so hard for are going to be distributed according to your wishes, says Goldgrab. To that end, make sure to update beneficiary designations properly and dot the i’s and cross the t’s on all estate documents.

Do this essential money exercise

Every household, especially if it’s newly formed, needs a budget.

A well-crafted budget will give you and your partner the framework you need as a married couple to pay essential living costs, like food, housing and transportation, while also setting aside money that you can spend on discretionary expenses and savings for retirement.

Budgeting can also make you feel good. People who budget report lower levels of stress, anxiety and frustration, and they also feel more in control, more confident and more secure. 

AARP’s Home Budget Calculator can be a good starting point.

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